This is the second one i promised and i guess it is a response to thandiwe's blog or the second post...So emotions.
What is the big deal?
We all have it and we can control it. A lot of times i hear people say i cannot control my emotions, that does happen but not as often as we say it, in order to decieve ourselves. In life a lot of situations come up. For instance you see someone your in love with getting married to someone else, at this point are you going to be the idiot that stands up at the ceremony and confess the undying love or are you just going to let them carry on with their life and live with their choice. At this point you have to realise your not God, you cannot break up someone else's marriage because of your own needs which are driven by selfishness. In the name of emotions we dont do things to people out of love, 70% it is because of a combination of self pride, hatered, anger and most 2 importants selfishness and lust.
Before i even carry on, i want to know what is love? How many of you know what love is? i am being serious...Is it when your happy and when you have someone that is always there for you?( by the way i expect you to put it down in the comments!!!!!!!!!!)
i was going to carry on with this post but i will update it, in either 4 days or 7 comments on what love is, which ever one comes first. by the way your response is gonna tie in with my men cheat post..so just say what is on your mind and not the oxford or lagos dictonary definition..
p.s. do not comment on the topic of the post, just on what you think love is.......
THE UPDATE
okay so it is obvious that i had forgotten what i was gonna post about from the last post.
Okay i think i need to explain to y'all what exactly happened; when i blog i dont think about what i am about to blog about, i just sorta sit down in front of (my mabcook) and if there is a good song playing in the background, that happens to bring back a memory or bring out something deep within me then i blog about it, but under no circumstance can i leave and come back and continue. I tried it as most of you know and it didnt work( sorry it was such a god topic but i guess that is just how the garri crumbles...lol( vindi i cant get this thing outta my head)
so as i was saying, this love thing....
it is not like i am an expert o!. Have i been in love? i will say it is very very very probable. pls note: if any of you ask me about this in real life, i will just blank you. i think love is not some emotion, it is more of an instinct, it is a bit more primal and cannot be entirely controlled. It's kinda similar to when something hot touches ur skin you move away.
But here arises the question, is it possible to love 2 people at once. let me clarify can you love 2 girls/ boys/ amphrodities at once?( pick which ever applies to you). I think the core foundation of love is built on 2 things, selflessness and timelessness(i just made up the word). I dont necessarily think that acceptance is one of them. It isnt those butterflies in your tummy or the way ur body quivers when he is kissing your neck and slowly starts gropping you.
SO WHY ARE THERE SOOO MANY GIRLS ON BLOGSSVILLE COMPLAINING ABOUT SOME PAST LOVE OR HEART BREAK!![this is me shouting, by the way]..From your description you guys know what love is and you know a lot of times your not in love. Even if you've been going out for 3 years it doesnt mean you guys are in love. There are marriages that are holding while the two partners are not in love with each other, marriages can hold when two people know each other inside out and are comfrotable around each other.
Q: Would rather be in love with someone, that mistreats you (i.e. beating or verbal abuse or pure neglection) or someone you were and have always been comfortable around who treats you right?
There have even been pre arranged marriages that work and have stayed strong till date. So why is love such a big deal? Loving someone is not about what you get in return, that is something else( i just cant remember what it is right now).
So here comes my other question which i would like y'all to comment on again...plss!!!pls!!!!i have changed i will update when i say i willl...give me another chance!!. By the way i am only asking this question because i have gotten the impression that a lot of girls think that relationships are viewed as a game or some kinda fun past time for guys, who just play girls around, y is that?
Q: what do you guys look for when ur about to get into a relationship( this is predomanitly aimed at awon (18-22) i chose them because obviously none of them are looking for marriage but everyone else feel free to comment as well....
THE UPDATE
okay so it is obvious that i had forgotten what i was gonna post about from the last post.
Okay i think i need to explain to y'all what exactly happened; when i blog i dont think about what i am about to blog about, i just sorta sit down in front of (my mabcook) and if there is a good song playing in the background, that happens to bring back a memory or bring out something deep within me then i blog about it, but under no circumstance can i leave and come back and continue. I tried it as most of you know and it didnt work( sorry it was such a god topic but i guess that is just how the garri crumbles...lol( vindi i cant get this thing outta my head)
so as i was saying, this love thing....
it is not like i am an expert o!. Have i been in love? i will say it is very very very probable. pls note: if any of you ask me about this in real life, i will just blank you. i think love is not some emotion, it is more of an instinct, it is a bit more primal and cannot be entirely controlled. It's kinda similar to when something hot touches ur skin you move away.
But here arises the question, is it possible to love 2 people at once. let me clarify can you love 2 girls/ boys/ amphrodities at once?( pick which ever applies to you). I think the core foundation of love is built on 2 things, selflessness and timelessness(i just made up the word). I dont necessarily think that acceptance is one of them. It isnt those butterflies in your tummy or the way ur body quivers when he is kissing your neck and slowly starts gropping you.
SO WHY ARE THERE SOOO MANY GIRLS ON BLOGSSVILLE COMPLAINING ABOUT SOME PAST LOVE OR HEART BREAK!![this is me shouting, by the way]..From your description you guys know what love is and you know a lot of times your not in love. Even if you've been going out for 3 years it doesnt mean you guys are in love. There are marriages that are holding while the two partners are not in love with each other, marriages can hold when two people know each other inside out and are comfrotable around each other.
Q: Would rather be in love with someone, that mistreats you (i.e. beating or verbal abuse or pure neglection) or someone you were and have always been comfortable around who treats you right?
There have even been pre arranged marriages that work and have stayed strong till date. So why is love such a big deal? Loving someone is not about what you get in return, that is something else( i just cant remember what it is right now).
So here comes my other question which i would like y'all to comment on again...plss!!!pls!!!!i have changed i will update when i say i willl...give me another chance!!. By the way i am only asking this question because i have gotten the impression that a lot of girls think that relationships are viewed as a game or some kinda fun past time for guys, who just play girls around, y is that?
Q: what do you guys look for when ur about to get into a relationship( this is predomanitly aimed at awon (18-22) i chose them because obviously none of them are looking for marriage but everyone else feel free to comment as well....
28 comments:
Yay!!! Im the first to comment lol -
According to the lagos dictionary - love is when the guy has money and showers the girl with loads of gifts lol
seriously speaking tho - its really hard to explain love but u defo know when u love someone.... u care about them unconditionally, u always think of them, always want to spend time wiv the person, thinking of the person alone jst makes u smile.. u overlook their faults (be it physical or w/e) and love then for who they are and not what they have.
But i think love is sometimes misused by people who are confused about how they feel - its a really strong word that shouldnt be used anyhow
To me-love is the feeling that lasts after infatuation. It is not a feeling. It is when you acknowlege someones flaws and want to be there for them in spite of it. When your willing to deal with someone's scoin scoin!
Tininu, would u give me a knock on the head if I said I didnt know what love is? Yes...I use the word but I dont have a clue what it means cos I've done some rather stupid things in the name of love which I later deemed not to be acts of love.
But I guess whatever gets you to the end of the road after all has been said and done and you still think the world of the person could be termed love.
Well love is love- I dont particularly get it sha... I mean, when you talk about God...I GRAB! but otherwise...forgerrit...
Emotions are things that we humans use as an excuse to justify our actions...
For me love is buying me a bag of gari knowing I havent had it in a month... love isnt that gucci bag, nor the fendi clutch (ok, it may be)
I think love is what God has for us. Imagine you have a kid and you want the kid to die for you... That is love- DEEP and whole and amazing in its pure form!
3 more comments to go til you update...
Na wa ooo..asin...HW DO PEOPLE BECOME FIRST ON THIS THING NA!!!...off to read..BRB!!
hmmm What is love..you should go to my blog and read what some little kids wrote on this topic, then you would totally understand what love is!!!!!
To me tho, Love is caring beyond the good times. Its being there for someone when things aren't rosy. Its praying for someone more than you pray for urself, its putting someone's needs before yours. its pretty much feeling like you will do anything and I mean anything for sum one because you care about them. you know the same way God sent his son to put our needs before his, to me that is love.
i see love as when ure married and you can see your husband pick his nose ans still let him touch you or kn ow he didnt brush his teeth today and u still kiss him i just think love can be seen in many ways , i think love is no matter what someone does to you and when i say no matter what i mean hits your sister with his car and drives off and you still forgive that person because you love them but then again thats not all sha just my own contribution.
wow!!..this is huge...
Love...i believe it's being able to see beyond someone's imperfections..wanting to support the person emotionally, mentally and not just physically....Love is being able to sacrifice your own needs for someone else...
that's wuht i think love is!...it may seem and look so easy but def isnt!..
tin- tin what do YOU think love is?
love is simply an emotion...that women tend to have more than men..sometimes
lol, I have no clue!
lol u sha like trouble..
sha when i figure out love is..ull be the first to know babe! and i sent u kisses on my blog and got none back...me so sad :(
my attempt to define the undefinable..
Love begins with God, everything else follows after.
Love is commitment & honesty.
Love is Listening.
Love is a deep appreciation.
Love is embracing everything imperfections & all.
Love is when the happiness & pleasure of the other precedes your own happiness!
Love hurts.
Love has no cash value.
Love is not love if it is based on conditions.
Love is sacrifice.
Your been tagged - see my blog x
LOVE IS......(am just gonna let it be wotever it chooses to be)AM BEGINNING TO THINK love IS DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON WHO YOUR IN LOVE WITH....
I think I'VE BEEN IN LOVE TWICE BEFORE....and love was two different things....
p.s: i knu i dont make sense ...HECK LOVE DOESNT MAKE SENSE EITHER...*sigh*
I think you have your 7 comments-double sef. Oya update!
I will agree with nigeriandramaqueen that love is not a feeling because feelings only last for a period. Love is a permanent state of mind, a phenomenum that dictates the way you relate with another human being unconditionally.
I have come to the conclusion that I don’t really love, this is because of the ease with which I fall out of love…the scales don’t last long in my eyes…lmao..so I’ll most likely marry sensibly…
As for standing up at someone’s wedding…am I the only one that always wishes someone will stand up????
i was thinkin of how to say it, and kay-Shawn has done it beautifully..love isnt defined by the efficiency with which the butterflies flap in your stomach, like most people think, that just infatuation, initial gragra..whatever..love is what remains after the excitement has burnt away and you realize that you care deeply for that person, no matter what..Love is not just an emotion, cuz emotions come and go, and you could even have the temporary emotion of "hate" towards a person at a paticular moment, but it doesnt change the fact that you love them...yes, im rambling and have stopped makin sense to myself..but ya'll grab now...love is basically giving a shit about another person, caring enough to be there for them no matter what...thats love
i can see that you guys dont pay attention, have i ever made a promise to blog and kept it.....NO!! but ayway here i am...i will complete the update by 2moro morning latest...mybe in the night!
BEFORE I CONSIDER GETTING IN A RELATIONSHIP WIV SUMONE......we must have 3 things in common....
1. FASINATION FOR THE OTHER PARTY...this could also be curiosity.....any emotion that makes them wanna knu me betta....
2.COMPASSION.....personally he dosent need to be KOOKOO CRAZY about me..YET...just care ENOUGH...
3.comfortability......if that word doesnt exist..THEN IT SHUD.....THIS IS VERRRRRRRRRRRRRY IMPORTANT FOR ME.....I GET SHY AROUND GUYS I HAVE A CRUSH ON.....HE NEEDS TO ESTABLISH A CERTIAN LEVEL OF COMFORT WIV ME....
have all this.....THEN........#
REPORT TO MY FATHER FOR THE NEWLY UPDATED APPLICATION FORM.......XOXO
P.S: i've missed you oooo....xoxoxoxoxo
u definately aske d alot of questions there.. first what is love?
i agree with u that it is an instinct,which i feel is based on how attracted u are to the person(intimate kinda love), i cud also add that it cud suck because then u become overly sensitive and u fight about the littlest things, and it wud hurt!
second, is it possible to love 2 people at once?
i think yes, but with different intensities,and u love them for different things and i think u wud always love one more than the other, thats why u let one go and stick with the one u love more, and thats how love decisons are made, making it look like u love onli one person at a time!(my humble opinion)
thirdly,why do gals complain about heart break? well u said it urself, the essence of love is based on selflessness so when a break up happens, that means someone was being selfish in wanting to be free or whatever happend, and it hurts i guess!i wont even talk about gals being more emotional than guys..lol
fourthly,i am presently in 'like' with someone am comfortable around and who treats me right, so i guess i wud be biased about that question,lol but seriousli, i think rather a friend for life than a lover for a while! freindship breeds love anyways so...
fifth, gals see that guys kinda get into relationships as a form of recreational activity maybe because of the approach! they come all physical on u, and even if u eventually fall and go out,at the back of ur mind, u have these doubts that maybe he's not in this for u.
last(phew!), why do we go into relationships?? well, wen u like someone and u think u cud see it working out, u do it.
wen u ure majorly attracted to someone and feel 'oh! i must date that dude', u go into the relationship.
for me, i go into relationships when i see that even after break up we wud remain friends(since we arent looking to get married), i would do it and so far it has worked for me!
DONE!!!!!!!
my comment was definately longer than some of my posts! bear with me
@ zara - you def answered all the questions. for some reason i was holidng my bretah while reading your comments, dont ask why!!!!
thanks for the answers...
Love cant be defined. Its very subjective and its something that just happens.
in my honest and probably controversial opinion:
love is... that weird space between sanity and insanity.
you can love more than one person - ask any mother. anything else is mere greed.
women whinge about heartbreak because at some point they believe in the m&b dream, and playing a "damsel in distress" is contagious.
person making u feel right vs treating you like shyte... if you go for the one that treats u like shyte, you have issues. that one is on you and having the strength to remove yourself from that situation. not belittling the strength it takes to remove yourself, it's a biatch, because the lines are sooo blurred, between an a-hole and a flawed human being... see, excuses are so easy to come up with.
why relationships? if it's real, then because it feels natural. if it's not, then it's honestly because you need to be seen to be "normal". doesn't help that society revolves around pairs.
.. ohh and i so love to ask why!.. so can i?? plss?? lol ure welcome. hope they made sense sha...
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