Okay so i am going to begin with the official statement everyone says..i have finally gotten around to making this blog, blah blah! but it is true sha even me, i procrastinate like hell, but it is part of my new years resolution to stop( i am trying). Ever since i got my apple laptop, i have always had the urge to feel like sarah jessica parker, at the end of every episode of sex and the city where she is typing on her laptop, except that i'm a guy..But after being a heavily devoted fan of Mr fine boy and Miss twentysomethingnijababe's blog, i decided to give it a go even though i'll be no where close to their charm and sense of humor. But i thought to myself, how hard can it be!!i am about to find out..i mean there is a lot of gist out there waiting to be heard right!
Here is a little bit about me - I am in my early twenties.the name tin-tin comes from part of my name tininu and NO tininu is not short for tinuke..i have lived in the uk for 9 years, tired crossing the atlantic and going to Chicago for uni or college as they call it.. Omo firstly that cold was too deep, and the guys there were so musclar, always bench pressing, b ball playing, steroid popping and me broomstick! i knew there was no chance for me there. So i just negotiated with "daddy tin-tin" and after a few months of crunching numbers and making promises..my ass was back in the UK.
Anyways the blog is pretty much about me and i will add the gist from other peeps around me as well.. all stories are based on true events and i will try and convey them as close as possible to the real thing..so please invite your friends and dont forget to bookmark the blog.
In this uni there are not that many black people, so we pretty much know everyone sha and as small as we are, we are always having beef and minor minor stuff like...but regardless the oyinbo babes are always showing us love, especially in the club and on campus, because they are still tryna figure out how guys from a developing country always have money and drive nice cars.
For instance: I was on campus on monday morning on my way to have a meeting with my tutor and still a bit hung over from yesterdays house party, all of a sudden i felt this tap on my bum, i turned around and there she was stacey.
Guys stacey is the shit here oo, she's in the athletics team, well toned, tanned, brunet and has a smile that you can die for..as in no jokes, sorta looks like a mix between eva mendes and christina milian..and she had some American accent thrown in.
Stacey-"Hiya!, Tin-man".
I com dey look the babe like, ahn ahn which kin familiarity is this..My people i have tried over and over again to tasi this babe and for 2 and a half years, she didnt even ja guys face, not even once. But stacey was looking finnneeee!! with her soft caramel eyes and that dimple on her left cheek when she's smiling. I did not even hesitate to proceed with the conversation because if she should ja today i will kill cow. Using my well rehearsed british accent..i mean after 9 years in this country, i had to have something to show for all that time spent here.
Me (deep voice)- "heyyya, how you doing stace?"
Na so the omo com dey shout
Stacey-" Jesus Christ, your house is the shit!!! The party was sick, were all those guys your friends? beacuse some of my friends were asking and are those all you guys cars? are all your friends houses like that?"
Me - "yeah" trying to be all cool calm and collective, as it has been a while since i had been on the oyinbo dating scene.
By now this babe had started throwing question after question at me, to the point i didn't even know which one to answer first " what do you guys do?, what year are you all in? what were you guys celebrating?".. I just said yes to everything, at this point i was already praying in my mind..."Lord if this babe should ja today, i will go to church for the next 2 sundays and i will donate that money i promised you last year for keeping me alive and this months tite..i swear" see me really negotiating with God o.
To cut the long story short stacey and i kept talking and like a GOGO i just kept following her where ever she was going. We somehow ended up in a lecture hall. She was all flirty, her hand on my lap, i was whispering in her ear and she was laughing, giggling, going through my phone messages saying that i am such a player..that sorta thing. I know what most of you are thinking, she is probably a gold digger or she mite be using me. Me personally i dont like to think so, i like to think my game is tight!.
After 20 minutes of iranu and her phone number, i decided to pay attention to the lecturer and what he was saying. It was at this point i realised, omo i dont have lecture, because i just came back from my placement and i am meant to have the rest of term writing up my report with my tutor, who had now left 8 missed calls on my phone. I proceeded to get up and out of the lecture theatre but i was all the way at the front and the exit was all the back.. so i took a few minutes to think of my strategy and i began to deploy, i leaned towards stacey and whispered in her ear..
Me-"Stacey, i've gotta go"
Stacey -" Awww, where to?" With the expression on her face like, didnt you come to uni to hang out with me?!"
Me -"To see my tutor and my employer."
As i finally gathered the courage to stand up, Stacey just tactically stroked my"gbola" as it's referred to now adays!!..haaaa, wahala ti de( i am not usually this weak but today is different and i needed some oyinbo in my life)..like nothing happened i just sat back down again..As the lecture continued, i began to fidget because it was becoming clear to me that Stacey was good with her hands..As my mind began to drift that is how the lecturer just pounced on me...
Mr Lecturer- "You at the front!!, what do you think about the relationship between Generation Y and Generation X and what does he refer to as the umbilical cord between the two generations and the academia effects?"
Me- "Ehn, who me?"
I was already sweating violently, i even did one of those silent mess, well actually it sounded like this-pppooouuuunnnffff! and with that kinda of mess i knew i had only like 20 seconds before it fully dispersed and i had to do something. Stacey was not even helping matters at this point because she was laughing her head off. Not only did i not know where i was, i didn't have a clue what the hell the guy was on about, didn't even know what course this was!!..All this because of booty...i was sha using style to check the slides behind him and was trying to remember words he had used.
Mr Lecturer- "Yes you! or where you too busy fidgeting"
Me- "Well basically, Generation x and y are completely different..it's a generational thing!!!"
The whole lecture theatre just broke out in laughter...
Mr Lecturer- " Okay i think that was pretty obvious everyone knew that, so carry on and talk about the effects of academia."
Shit this guy wants to disgrace awon boys ni sha! I just got a glimpse of some link on the slide behind him and typed it into my blackberry..then i began to clear my throat!!!
Me-"Well you see....the thing is that....hmmmm,hmmm*clearing my throat*...Generation Y, those born from the 1980's onwards had completely different relationship with their parents than those from Generation x. Generation X would have been appalled at the idea of extra involvement of parents who hyperactively intervene, But these have been brought about by 2 factors"...
By now i was so quickly flicking through the pages on my blackberry and was just saying anything that was making sense
Mr Lecturer was amazed and he prompted me to carry on.
Me- "The extra involvement is also down to the marketisation of academia as a result of the inflation of the university fees, with the sudden increase parents now pay the money; they expect to see results. Secondly the mobile phone has created what surely can be referred to as the strongest umbilical cord."
At this point the whole class is like WTF?!, because nobody in the class knew if that was the right answer or not and neither did i.
Mr Lecturer- "And how did you come about this theory?"
Me-"Errr, well my mum is"
Mr lecturer- "What?"
Me- "My mum is calling and i have to take this call, it's international"
I jejely excused myself from the room before that mess started to smell but for the first time in my life i was happy that" Mummy tin-tin" called to rant on about how the holy spirit said i should stop sinning...
I just text Stacey to bring my bag out with her when the lecture was over and to meet me at my car..Oh and when i got home i did actually have a look at what the lecturer was on about...it is quite interesting. It talks about the relationship between parents and children and it categorises parents into five groups and believes that every parent will fall into a category on the list and the depending on their situation i.e. married or divorce they can play more than one role at a time, but he obviously had not been to nija before because i know 'daddy' tin-tin...if you mess up you are going back to unilag or lasu...Anyways here are the five groups below and the link..http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7169429.stm
The Agent
The Banker
The White Knight
The Bodyguard
The Black Hawk
Please have a look and tell me what you think or do nija parents deserve separate categories of their own..
I will be updating y'all at least weekly or as often as i can..Oh and for those of you that were wondering Stacey dropped by my house that night and .....i don't think i need to tell you what happened, but i went to church sha, once...Take care!