The Adventure continues..

When i was in js 1 or 2 i cant remember...i had suffered emotionally at the hands of girls...
.........................Alluryz, forgive me................

Let me digress, because i want to report Alluryz to you guys, back in the days of secondary school, she was one of those girls that developed early, was taller, probably faster and stronger. At an alarming rate she became the school coaches favorite athlete, now i dont know if it was because she was developed or she was good at sports. One faithful Tuesday morning, when the sky was blue and sun had taken refuge behind the clouds, we had P.E.. Today was rounders. As always she turned up in her tight white tee and black cycling short( whereas most girls wore skirts oo), You know how these things are when they hug your body( dammmmmnnnn!!!!!!!).. Seeing her running from post to post, led to idle chit chat between the boys who were actively scoping her and taunting her!. After sweating and running around, we went back to the class room to pick up our bags, someone made a pass at her...behind...obviously being tried of the taunting and what not, she decided to take her frustration out on someone and who was the first person she decided to pounce on.....yes, it was me...the innocent child, with soft brown eyes that could barely carry his school bag and water bottle..She clobbered me with this slap ehn...i'd like to point out that i had just started summing up the courage to talk to girls and this happened , thus sending me back into my shell.. Alluyrz, what you did was not good oooo..but i have let it slide..

Now when i purchased my first craig david cd that year and i watched the video, i realised 2 things, firstly that he was an ashewo and secondly he must have had a system which he used to captivate all these girls. And from girl to girl, he must have built upon his system till it was near perfection...so i decided to do the same....Today's topic is our dearest and fondest mothers.. i will keep it in bullet points to make it short( i know you guys are tried of seeing long post...but that is just my signature, i guess)..In our scenario , the girl who you have gone to visit, is home alone and her mumsi walks into the house after a hard days work, and she has seen your car outside and is fully aware that an unknown guest is in her home, so she is going to be a bit more tense. You non-the less are also coming from work, and are wearing your suit and looking respectable( this is to help the guys that have problems with mothers in nig)

* Typically when she walks in, you stand up and greet, if this is your first time , you can prostrate, immediately point out that she looks stressed and offer to carry her bags. 99% of the time she will decline because you are stranger and you would give a stranger their bag.


* Follow up with a comment, about the interior decor. Usually go with curtains and ceiling designs. "I love the curtains and the furniture, you should be an interior designer, ma” These are usually the things that the women of the house always choose, but don’t forget to double check with the girl you came to see. If possible find out which country they were imported from.


* Prompt her to sit down, now this one is particular to me as i took me a while to master this...the dialogue is usually something like this. " Excuse me ma, do you want to sit down? Because so seem so stressed from work and you need to relax. When my mother is stressed, i have a little massaging technique i use to release her stress”. If done the properly she will sit down, as she will be intrigued by this soo called technique, and please don’t use this if you cannot massage.


* Now it is the mother's turn to ask you the questions, such as what are you doing, where do you work, what uni and things of that nature. Let her know you have goals and ambitions and then end the conversation with your best selling point..mine is the charity foundation i set up for my mother on her 50th birthday, which takes children from primary school and sees them all the way to university and i also have plans to take one of the children abroad.. This has done 2 things. Made you stand out from almost any other potential son - in - law and something to remember you by.. i also now have a possible client to donate to my charity.


* If your fashion literate, move the conversation to her shoes.. ask her about them.." Excuse me ma! are those the jimmy choo's from the summer collection"..the truth about this, is that she probably doesnt know and neither do i..let her know your asking because you wanted to get a pair for your mother but these things cost a lot and your saving up. Note: do not misfire, dont go and say thier jimmy choo's when they are fendi..you will just look very stupid.


* If your not fashion literate, prompt the girl to get her mother, her favorite drink..(i dont know why most mothers like tea, small milk and 2 sugars). While she has gone or even if she is there, hit the mother with the unexpected." Excuse ma, i know this is odd, but i like the way tinuke is mature and very determined (or whatever her name might be). You dont have to use caring and determined, you can refer to something else. It must be the way you brought her up, because she even puts me in my place. Whenever i am about to give up or loose focus, i think of tinuke and she inspires me"...Note: this is obviously made up and the mother is going to be soo surprised because she knows that her tinuke is lazy and has none of those qualities or maybe she hasnt seen them. At this point try not to laugh because tinuke would definately be laughing her head off....This makes the momsi proud that all her sweating and beating of this child has finally come to something good…Nothing is better than rubbing a momsi’s ego.


* Iterate your point by saying what every mother wants to hear; "Tinuke is soo focused that she doesnt even have time for boys, ma!, i have been trying to get a date for about 3 months now..all i hear is that she is always in the library, even on sundays if she is not in church, she is the library. Now i am here in nigeria beging, for the same date, if you can ma, please help me beg her for one date, please!...lol!! Note: these are all lies, but is worth saying.. If you have done a good job of winning the momsi over, she would tell tinuke to go on a date with you.

Now that momsi also knows your intentions and likes you, this gives you leeway, in nigeria to have that extra couple of hours and no need for driver spoiling your runs, for those girls that dont drive and also stops the mother from panicking as she knows her daughter is in safe hands...if only she knew....i had to cut down the story but i choose the essential parts...if you want the full version, holla at me...The whole point of this, is particularly when you encounter the popsi, because those popsi's i dont know oooo, they just dont like me...i dont know why, so at least i have the momsi on my side..

This actually works and works on all momsi’s ever tested on(Mummy Solomonsydelle, wouldn't this work on you?!) besides one, let me explain…I found out that my dad, had dated her in christ school ado-ekiti and obviously it didn’t end well… That is not the first time popsi has hindered my runs oo.