It is another long one oooooooooooo...if you are tired , please go to bed..if you are just tuning please start from the pervious post(7B)..
Drum rooolllll please, as this would be the 3rd post within 24 hours. I was actually gonna talk about 1st dates and extreme lengths i go to, and the does and dont....But now i give to you Reporting live from bed....sex edition, actually i would call this the sofa edition, as that is where i slept....can u imagine, ninu ile mi( in my own house).
Please if you fall into any of these categories...
a) Within the last 6 weeks, you have called a girl to ask if her and a guy are still together.
b) You have called her to ask how long we have been having something and when they started.
c) If they are going to stop having whatever they are having anytime soon.
Please I beg you to stop. Ahn!! ahn!!. If you want to have something with me, just let me know and I am sure we can work something out...
Prologue & Characters…
Ms irreplaceable. and I have been having something for the last couple of months on and off. Ms irreplaceable is my type of babe, calm & collective, we don't argue, whenever she is upset she just tells me instead of squeezing her face and saying nothing is wrong..No matter what she is doing, whether bad or good, she means well and tries her best , I cant ask for anything more.
Mrs Right. Please notice the way she is Mrs not Miss. Mrs right and I went out for about 9 months. The relationship was off the hook while it lasted. When your mumsi says bring a girl home, that would make her proud, she is talking about Mrs Right. I am just gonna stop talking about her because if not I will just get emotional..
About 4 weeks ago I ran into Mrs Right. and I was weak, my heart even started beating fast. I am not going to lie, she is still as cute as pretty as before, her eyes still have that hazel colour, when the sunlight falls on her face and those her lips mehhhnn, even when we were going out, guys would come up to her and be like” you have nice lips”, some idiot even tried to kiss her, while I was there…I vexed ehn, even for her gan!!. But she has a guy now and they have been going out for a while. Anyways we started talking and catching up on past stuff, because since we broke up we hadnt seen each other, and you know girls can reminisce sha but it was cool. She even came back to mine and NO! nothing happened! She still had some explaining to do.
Fast forward to 2 weeks and Both of us have been texting and calling back and forth.. and NO!! Nothing is still happening or going to happen!! She decides to come over to my house, and when she comes she start reminiscing again, we’re laughing and arguing and it turns into a play fight and then I drop her on the bean bag and I am on top of her and then I made one of those my Tin-tin remarks..
Me: “You see this is how if I was one of those your dodgy guys I will be kissing you now.”
Mrs right: “What!, So you still want to kiss me..”. A smile slowly creeps across her face
..She then looks into my eyes.
Mrs right: “ Have I ever hit you with a laptop before”.
Me: “If that is the price, then I guess I am willing to pay”
Mrs right:" Okay, where is Mrs Irreplaceable?, because if she walks in......"
To most of you reading this now, because you don't know me.. you would think that I still have feeling for Mrs Right, but I don't. we are just friends. I have never broken up with someone and gotten back with them..it has just never happened..i was just doing my harmless flirting and she was doing the same.
While the conversation was going on, Ms Irreplaceable had walked through the door and had heard our conversation. Firstly irreplaceable knew the Mrs right was my last ex and she knew the way I changed after breaking up with her but she didn't know that we had started talking again, not to mention the fact that she was now in my house and i was on top of her.
As she walked through the door..you would expect me to panic and say "Baby it is not what it looks like".. Instead i just swore and said" why does this always happen to me?". I dismounted Mrs Right and went to hug Ms Irreplaceable, She met me with a look sugesting " IF YOU TOUCH ME, I AM GOING TO BITE AND THEN KILL YOU", so smoothly i diverted to the kitchen and once again started conversing with myself..( for some reason i had the d banj song in my head... funk u up)
Me(janded boy): Mo gbe!!Shit!! shit!! shit!!...okay how am i going to get out of this one.
Me( Agbero, in my head): It wasnt me!!
Me(Janded boy): I cant say that!!! hisss...I am going to call aysha( Best friend) she will know what to do, she is a babe...
Me(Agbero): Iwo lo ma run down!, iwo lo ma run down!
I got on the phone to aysha, as soon as she heard my situation..she strarted to laugh so hard, i think she was actually crying...
With composure i walked back into the living room and sat between the Mrs & the Miss...They both went quiet and i began sweating all over again..funny thing is that they both know themselves and can talk when i am not around.. with nothing to say, i increased the volume on ANTM cycle 7 and started talking about the models and how i hate their guts...
Mrs Right excused herself and went home.....I turned to Miss Irr. and before i could say a word, she just calmly said "Dont even talk to me!!"..She struted into the room, slamming every possible door on the way and then came back out to throw a pillow and what was meant to be a duvet at my head. I started to try and explain myself and my phone started ringing, who was it....Mrs Right..
Miss Irr: is that her calling again?
Me:............
Miss: Pick it up now, shey you want to kiss her, i think you should go to her house...
Me:...........
Miss: Why is she calling you, i dont even understand.
Me:...........
At this point i felt like jumping into a well....
I am going to end the story there..but i would like to let you know that i got Mrs Right back for the amount of negotiating i had to do that day and the promises i had to make.....
So i sent a 100 roses to Mrs right at her address with a card saying " Baby i thought about what you said and i am sorry about the kiss, i am ready to give it another go...xxx" i then sent her a text before the flowers arrived at hers saying i am going to get you back for what you are putting me through. I did this because i knew her boyfriend would see this, and this is not going to go down well with any guy..hahahaah( evil laugh...i love myself sometimes)
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