Remeber that guy..The one with the soft brown eyes...The dark chocolate...with the perfect smile, that could make you lick every inch of him, Every inch of his muscles are well defined and structured by God himself..He is not lacking in anyway, shape or form..If he was a god he would be Zeus..
Patiently you have been waiting, waiting for a day when fate would turn your way and smile down on you. The day when you would make your way to his house at about 2 am. Today your gonna try your luck, everything has been working for you today, why not this...Why not him!?
You pick up the phone, scroll thorugh the contacts. you stop at his name.
{ your lips quiver as your mouth begins to dry out}
It's ringing!!
{A pain surges through your chest, as your heart begins to beat frantically}
"Hello" as he picks up the phone using his soft bedroom voice.
what are you going to say? what excuse could you possibly have for calling him at 2 in the morning and trying to invite yourself to his house...you cannot control these feelings you have for him and you know he has a girlfriend..but do you care.... no!! because you are going to do you and what makes you happy..
Your nervous and you drop the phone.
{Hopefully he wont know it was me, shit! caller id...maybe he would think it was a mistake}
Have you ever been in this situation or something similar......well tin-tin has come up with the solution..it is simple quite really just tell him
" Hi, my gas cooker has blown and my fire alarm keeps going off... I think gas is leaking, can i stay at yours"........did you ever think of that....no!!!
If a guy gives half a damn about you or your personal wellbeing he cannot say NO! actually let me rephrase that if he gives a damn about your life then me might be inclined to invite you to his house unless he currently or about to get some that night from someone else.
So i got this text at about 2am.. Frantically afraid for someone's life i called and i said {IN PASSING} if you smell gas and you think it is a bit too dangerous, feel free to come over to mine..{IT WAS SAID IN PASSING}...i really did not mean it...
but looow and behold at 3.15am i got a phone call " i am outside".... This babe must be joking, i am doing revision anyways nothing spoil...
As i went downstairs to welcome her, i saw to see 3 babes and 3 guys.. forget the guys!!! but 2 of those babes were potential...(you know what i mean!!) and as they saw her stroll into the compound at that time, all my chances flew straight out the window..
As a gentleman i offered my bed, while i slept on the sofa in the living room and as per normal procedure i called "baby" and gave her a minute by minute update of what was going on....( i communicate!!). obviously she was unhappy with that, i mean who will be comfortable with a babe coming to sleep at her guys house at past 3 in the morning...
Emi ti ro pe, this was a one night thing{ i thought this was a one night thing }...The next day and 10 sambuca's later, i was back home after a nite out. A text message came in on my phone. " I am on my way home, are you at home?"...I began to wonder!. did this babe just call my house, my pad, the cockpit, the slaughter home or whatever name it had been given in the past, her own home. Once again, i recieved a call " i am outside". Mo gbe!!.....
Your nervous and you drop the phone.
{Hopefully he wont know it was me, shit! caller id...maybe he would think it was a mistake}
Have you ever been in this situation or something similar......well tin-tin has come up with the solution..it is simple quite really just tell him
" Hi, my gas cooker has blown and my fire alarm keeps going off... I think gas is leaking, can i stay at yours"........did you ever think of that....no!!!
If a guy gives half a damn about you or your personal wellbeing he cannot say NO! actually let me rephrase that if he gives a damn about your life then me might be inclined to invite you to his house unless he currently or about to get some that night from someone else.
So i got this text at about 2am.. Frantically afraid for someone's life i called and i said {IN PASSING} if you smell gas and you think it is a bit too dangerous, feel free to come over to mine..{IT WAS SAID IN PASSING}...i really did not mean it...
but looow and behold at 3.15am i got a phone call " i am outside".... This babe must be joking, i am doing revision anyways nothing spoil...
As i went downstairs to welcome her, i saw to see 3 babes and 3 guys.. forget the guys!!! but 2 of those babes were potential...(you know what i mean!!) and as they saw her stroll into the compound at that time, all my chances flew straight out the window..
As a gentleman i offered my bed, while i slept on the sofa in the living room and as per normal procedure i called "baby" and gave her a minute by minute update of what was going on....( i communicate!!). obviously she was unhappy with that, i mean who will be comfortable with a babe coming to sleep at her guys house at past 3 in the morning...
Emi ti ro pe, this was a one night thing{ i thought this was a one night thing }...The next day and 10 sambuca's later, i was back home after a nite out. A text message came in on my phone. " I am on my way home, are you at home?"...I began to wonder!. did this babe just call my house, my pad, the cockpit, the slaughter home or whatever name it had been given in the past, her own home. Once again, i recieved a call " i am outside". Mo gbe!!.....
Let me clarify something to the inquisitive minds out there.....1)I was not having something with this babe..2) the babe looks {in my eyes is comparable to a mosquito}, which is why i had no problems with her sleeping over in the first place...no matter how much was sexualy fustrated it wasnt going to happen. As the babe went to the room and changed only to come back to the sitting room where her nighty...This wasnt normal pyjamas my people...very low cut, thight, body hugging..did i mention low cut!!! it was cut lowwwwwwwww...lowwwwwww!!!!!!!. But i swear i had seen this once in nija film, guy half drunk , babe on a mission sent from the spirit of the tree...lol!!...but because this babe is in no way appealing to me, i dont give a damn...if she likes, she can do a flipping rain dance in my living room, naked! i would rather watch the BBC Parliment channel or read the bible..none of which i have done this year...i know i am a bad christian.
To put an end to all these ideas in her head...i took escape route 1.( i will publish Escape Routes..under girl chronicles, very very very soon) which was start talking about one of her friends. I even went as far as saying i think her friend is hot, as in i want her friend, she should even call her now( i know i am pushing it but i had to get the message to her that i wasnt feeling her that way at all).. through out this conversation this babe never mentioned "WHAT ABOUT YOUR BABE?" NOT ONCE.
Guess what now happened, it turned out that friend was making noise about was her sister, you would think that would make her stand down, right!!! But i was wrong, our babe deduced the fact that since i liked her sister and i thought her sister was hot. since they happen to be twins and identical twins at that, i must also think she is hot! AAAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!
Firstly i didnt even know they were sisters not to talk about identical twins, even that her twin story i am very skeptical about it...but they look nothing alike. and who draws that kinda of long winded conclusion.............. Omo!!, It seems like route 1 is not working,..this babe is obviously on a mission..
Time to commence route 3( i skipped 2, when i saw the seriousness of this case).. I picked up the phone and called baby, i communicate...for once i wish i didnt because that conversation was different.. She started giving me girl intution, i knew i was finished. i was there trying to defend myself...i felt like a criminal lawyer defending a case...infact i was under susch serious fire that i couldnt even blog or say anything to anyone. But because baby was giving me an earfull for soo long, the other babe got bored and just free'd me. Once i dropped the phone, this babe came back into the living room and sat beside me and loosely placed her hand on my hand.{ i even made a memo to my self to get locks for that door}. I iniciated route 4...i started acting stresssed..that was my biggest mistake, she started to move closer in order to console me in this her ashewo pyjamas..
I had to put a stop to this...i used my ultimate weapon..as a gentleman this weapon must be used once and as a last resort when all tactics in your arsenal has failed.....this weapon also comes in different versions, but i had to use the most powerful version....THE SILENT MESS!...you know that one, quiet but with the pungent smell of rotten egg and milk with a bit of efo riro.. before i coud say jack robinson, the babes face started to change..me i was just acting like i no know wetin happen..after like 5 seconds, this babe was trying to chest it, na so i come release part 2...This one, it remained small, i would have poo'd on myself. But the babe could not take it anymore and retreated back to the room. By the time she came out again, i was pretending to be fast asleep. ..
The things i have to do, to keep my dignity.....and dont bother asking me what would have happened if the babe was bunz.... i dont know, probs wont have let her come to my house in the first place..
would post some random musings later....