The Adventure continues..

Often i blog about things related to relationships, girls and guy but i tend to leave out the personal things, so of late i have decided to bridge the gap between the things and i joke about and my reality, with some emotions attached.....

No comments required on this post............

Happy Grave day darling.

Sorry it has been a while since we have spoken,  I'm sorry i havnt come to see you since we laid you to rest..I'm sorry that on the day when it meant soo much, i stood there with words trapped in my mouth, in total silence because when it mattered the most, i had nothing to say. There i stood with tears rolling up in my eyes.. I never forgave myself!

You left us in such a hurry due to the argument i had with you, if i knew that was the last time, we would ever get to argue, i might have said things differently. You left me with your greatest asset - a 2year old girl and yes scarlet is doing just fine. Being her Godfather made me come to realisation a lot quicker than the others..I made a promise to you, that she would never suffer and you would never have to worry..well the pilkins have adopted her..which i know you dont mind, because there was no way she was going into foster care..

We got together and put together her fund, a hundred pounds a quater from each of us, so in a year she aint doing bad..I'm still going to take her to Nigeria as promised and yes the thought of adopting her always crosses my mind..lol! But things are not the same without you, they couldnt be.....Everytime she calls out for you, an airy silences fills the room but we're coping. I dread the PTA's, parent days, the school balls and the day she says "your not my parents, so you cant tell me what to do!!"...i am going to hate you that day. She draws pictures of you all over the house, even on the tv..

Since the day you left, i stopped dreaming.. Then your birthday came round and i had my first dream in over a year, i woke up and called your phone just to hear your voice mail, we all do it when we miss you the most. The reality that your not coming home is daunting and has created an empty void which is inconsolable. Next time i write this letter, i hope i have the courage to be by your grave stone and pay the respect soo long overdue.

but for now,

I miss you, she misses you...we all miss you...

Happy grave day, Sarah.

P.s, as you can tell i have started the blog, 3 years overdue!