A lot of times after a break up or split, but when you see them unexpectedly you just dont know how to react and more importantly how to feel.
Should you pretend ur all fine and just smile,
or can he tell it is fake, that you still hold a grduge against him.
Just ignore him completely, maybe that is the best option.
Now your going for that party. It has been a month since the split. You know he is going to be there with his guys. The ones that were there through every fight, the one's that helped you out when you wanted to do that little surprise something.
Your gonna make sure you look tight, your gonna make sure he is going to see what he is missing and is gonna come crawling back. Your hair is going to be done, lips, juicy and wet(check)...your going to make him sooo jealous...Dancing and grinding with the other guys soo he can see you.. Some will even make sure they are dancing right next to their ex..
These are the sort of things you girls think of, to try and get back at guys....your wasting your time!!
we expect these things all the time...
Labels:
break up
What you really need to do, is go that extra mile, do something we have never seen, we never expected from you...Dont ask me because i am not your boyfriend, so i dont know!
I am not talking in terms of getting up on the table and hanging out with the moet and ace of spade boys.
Doing that just degrades yourself because you tend to come across a gold digger, maybe that is too harsh a word but you get the picture.
but incase you dont know that extra mile was, you can go for the safer option.
The one when you go with a few of your friends poss not more than 2, so it doesnt look like you just came with loads of girls for emotional and moral support. Obviously a nice figure hugging outfit and the hair and all. Do your normal dancing but not too much. Most improtantly remember to smile.
Smiling constantly is important because it potrays happyness, ur not there sad and gloomy. There is no boyfriend that doesnt like seeing his girlfriend smilling, if is she is his ex, plus he will also be wondering who is the new person making you smile 24/7. If you have a new guy maybe even better but dont hold the new guy like a throphy. Let him do his thing with his guys(i dont know why this is soo hard for girls), leave yourself open for your ex to come and talk to you, better yet, smile , wave to him, strut over and sit down beside. You can even add a little something something , like a peck on the cheek.
Ensure you have a very civil conversation.
Avoid dancing not even for old times sake.
okay maybe one dance, because i know you cannot resist, especially when he comes from behind and whispers in your ears and the hairs on the back of your neck stand (see all of you smiling...ashewo's), that is why i said aovid the dance.
Out of the whole night this is the important thing. This can only be done when you have a new guy who is at the club, it will only work if the guy is your boyfriend or your having something and your ex knows that is your current guy.
Through out the duration of talking with your ex, your new guy will be counting minutes, seconds, every smile, every time you touched ur ex..that kinda thing. But at anytime he calls you even if it is in mid conversation with your ex. Go to him immediately. This works best if it is at the end of the club, when the lights are on.
let me let you in on a secret there is nothing like having power and then there is nothing like seeing someone use the power that you used to have but he uses it better than you... when your new guy calls you ( for example, he calls your name and points at his watch to indicate it is time to go). just tell your ex "sorry i have to go" , get your bag get up and meet ur new guy..Have you ever heard the saying the best way to break a guy is from the inside out. This does exactly that. The guy might appear fine but he is gonna be the there saying to himself.
: " see the way she just got up and left in mid-convo"
:" see the way she just obeyed that guy, i dont remember he ever doing that to me"
:"She must like the guy, their relationship must be deep"
:"maybe the have been having something for a while, even when we were going out"
[by the way the above convo takes place after the guy has abused the babe in his mind first for leaving like that]
before you know it the guy might even start asking himself some really daft questions and might even just doubt himself. oh and obviously the fact that you were looking hot, like a lollipop at the back of his mind he probably just wanted to lick you..lol! but he had to front. trust me i guarantee you will on and off his mind for the next 2-3 days. Dont forget his friends, they all saw you as well, they saw both of you talking. If he wanted to forget about you, his friends will bring it up and will make sure your fresh in his mind.
Some of you might not be able to see how this breaks the guy, that is because a lot of you are girls and it is not something you will know, but it has been done to me 2ce by 2 different girls, in 2 different years and both times........it got me ooo, i wont lie.. i was like me, me that i used to go out with you. i might even not treated you right but see the way the guy called. it didnt even just hurt me emotionally, it was my ego it dented and my ego is very small. Trust me.
Now i am also going to apologise for the change in blogging personality, some of you that were around when i started will have notices how i have become less funny and what i blog about has really taken a turn from personal to general. This has been for the obvious reasons of people finding out who i am, which is okay by me to a point i guess. Another reason has been a bit personal( some of you that i talk to know the reasons).
The last reason is for my own personal safety and looking to the future for marriage:- a lot of people that are my friends, when i am just talking about something that has to do with me, that might be on the blog, because i dont know they read my blog, i keep talking and they realise, which sucks!!!
secondly, quick question, if you see me in real life considering all that you know from my blog, will you go out or marry me, considering that you know just a few things and there can be a lot of things that are worse that you dont know.
I also like to say thank you to one of my readers " soft spot" the one that said she thought i was very concieted...i wanna say thank you not the concieted part but you know what i am talking about sha...
oh yeah @ unwritten- muah muah muah.xxxxxxxxxxxx
64 comments:
first!!!!!!!!!!!
ok let me read now
:blushes and does a little dance:..yay!..i got kisses!
lol
i like the break up tips boo..ur right..sometimes we girls try too hard to show out, its the little things that show...gosh who are all these people that know u..jeez..
hope ur having a great week boo!
I have a challenge for you....am kinds trying to figure out the most interesting blogs kinda like "naijafineboy" "tin-tin" "datingoops""Ex-school nerd"and of course yours.. with very good sense of humor....cos now a days peoples blogs are very dry...so may be you can do a post on new, fun, exciting, gist-plenty, witty,interesting blogs(with people that update regularly)....am gonna post this on other peoples blog so maybe it can start as a tag thingy....so we can promote good blogs since everyone has decided to leave blogsville....
Hope this makes sense sha
lai lai! half bread is bettre than none..im 4thhhhhh!...lemme go and read joh
sorry i had to leave you guys with another long long post, i'm tryna get back into the groove of things and finally replying comments again..
omonaija86- do you mean like the 14th & serenity, without the ficition?!!....
to be honest i was prepared to disagree with u on every point as soon as i started readin the post.
lolz.. but i read it word for word and gosh u are definetely right.
Lovely post.. more girls shud c dis.
lol!!!!!thank you mz dee!
hey! okay i followed ur blog from day 1! but i really wanna know the personal bits of the blog, is it a true reflection of ur personality? (just because of ur question about marriage.)
mmph!! from ur personal posts.....
I wouldnt go out with u
1st thing... I would always wonder if I am your one and only.. As much as going out isn't marriage no girl would want to be placed 2nd or especially if ur secretly wanting someone else.
2- how would i know if all your actions to show me u like me isnt jst for fun or all a game?
3- Understanding ur whole blog would be very hard ooooo!
remember u said from wat we've read so r we supposed to know its ur blog?
4- sorry tin tin but u actually sound like a bastard.. as in evil guy..lol
So i would jst feel like im putting myself in somethin i cant handle!!
Marry..... I dont know, coz I would have to go out with you first... but are u a committed guy??? lol
you see this is the problem with these annonymous commenters....dont you ever sleep? and you dont know who is who..
1) who said there was someone i secretly wanted?
2) as i tell a lot of people, what i show you on the blog is just the bad side there is no good what so ever. and even more i show you the extreme of the bad side and what is going on in my mind, i didnt say what i think is what i do..and you girls should stop thinking that relationships are a game because it isnt.
but the answer to your question is that you wont know but what makes you think the next guy isnt going to do the same thing, the only difference between me and him is that you know how i think, but you have no clue how he thinks , he might be far worse than me.
3) i dont recall saying that..actually i might have mentiond that but the truth is that those you know me, know that or cannot directly relate me to the blog{ personality wise anyways} i am actually so different from the blog. All i have tried to potray is exactly what is happening, you see me in real life and think i am nice guy, who is shy? but you dont know what is going on my head and a few things are premeditated .
4)thank you....i try!!..lol! as i said it is quite the contrary, i dont joke with relationships.
now i can succesfully say i might have deduced who you are...but if i am right then i am very dissapointed because we have had this discussion just last week and i dont see why you have to use the blog to ask me again...it is just not how you do things.
lastly alot of the blog is personal to me, a lot of things that i said happen have happend but they are things that have hapened in the past, they are not future or present or present-continous and they are things if i was having a conversation with someone i know i will bring them up...basically if i can blog about it then i can tell it to a stranger, which is what people on blogsville are to me!
anymore questions?
Lmao! so ur a nice guy.. fine...
lol! who the heck do u think i am!!! i never sleep!!everythin works for me at night.. so i guess i am jobless!
sorry anno- i realised way almost immediately that you were not who i thought you were...my apologies..
so your the obviously the type that likes to be on the phone at night...what do you do in the day time...lol
go and give ur life to christ...lol!!!
i SLEEP during the day! i mean its summer...well not until i start my job!! oh i didnt even mention that i am NOT doing nigerian guys again!!!!! maybe ghanians but not nigerian!!
y r u awake as well!
r u a born again christian??
conversations at nite feel way better than when im knackered during the day..
Lovely post as usual...
wow!! must try leaving my ex in the middle of a convo...let it pain him well (as you say) lol
gimme more ideas jorh.....u speak truth my brother!!...
i hope you're good..never mind being too personal on ur blog!...we love it mehnn
xxxx
i am awake because i promised to right another post but although i am not connecting with the post i am sha writing it,as i want to start keeping to my imaginary deadlines, also my neighbours are having sex!
yes i am born again..infact i was doing night vigil before you asked me a question.....okay i am lying.
your momsi is obviously not with you that is why you sleep in the day, ur lucky!
oh word of warning, ghanian guys dont have that much game , compared to the nig ones. I am not gonna stop you but i am just letting you know
Mybe ur just datiing the wrong type of nigerian guy,..did you ever think of that
l'amour - everytime i sit here and give you girls the upper hand over guys, i realise eventually i am going to tell you girls everything till the point, these things are gonna be used on me as well. Although most of the things i have said so far, i have a way of by passing them and the one's i dont i have kept them to myself...lol!
but on this topic i dont have another way that comes to mind right now...
For where?! It's jst too mch headache. Me I'm jst jejely boning ur side! Marry ko! As in I basically think you're a glorified ho (& I mean tht it d sweetest way possible...lol). Nah ur blog puts me off you & tht's my honest opinion. Only thing tht makes me reconsider's d fact tht you myt nt actually b potrayin ur real and true personality on blog. Maybe you're jst tryin 2 be controversial and interesting.
Tin-Tin ma mehn! Look Tin-Tin, we should not see ourselves as competitors but team-mates unless the competition will make us both write better blog posts.
I love your breaking up tips. Oya, write one for guys too naah.
Honestly, I'm going for a parry next week and my immediate ex is gonna be there.
anonymous - lol!! iwas honestly waiting for the glorified ho part although it hit me harder than expected {i think it was the choice of words]
but i make no apologises for who i am.
Let me try and clarifiy something, all guys are bastards ...fact.
They just dont act like one everyday.
There are certain days i act like you see on the blog, probs 15 days out of the year, for the other days i truly cannot be asked.
and y am i a ho? How mnay people do you know that i have slept with? the number will probably shock you in a good way.
kay - Lol!! the reason that i write for babes and not for guys is that i am always a bit extreme. but seriously for guys i dont know what to say because everytime i have been in that situation, i have always had a new babe{ i am known for moving on very quickly} that enough just gets back at the babes, i guess!!
i will actually think about it, but cannot promise anything
Y are you a ho? As in forget d hand job in lecture (which I rmbr was nt even for ur course!!)... As in you followed babe in blindly bcos of booty! Kai! Thn you nw went to do thanksgivin d nxt Sun cos you eventually did her lmao! Then d filmtrick bra unhookin (lol) of ur sugar mummy..dude ur ex's mum!! Ah ah you're deep o! As in you dnt even stop at kissing.
Ok forget those sexcapades (they're experiences of youth & lookin bck they make fun stories to tell yadi yadi ya!... Wat abt d games you jst love 2 play? Expectin babes to sell herself short cos you sent sme half dead £30 interflora flowers and £4 chocs( wink wink)..
Jst cos you myt hve slept w less than a dozen girls doesn't redeem u o, you're still catchin trips (w babes' mums if I myt add) even if you dnt go all d way...
Abeg even if you cn only be arsed to pull ur stunts 3 times a year it's unsettling enough to mke me walk away. I no lyk wahala at all.
Annonymous a lot of things are youtfull exuberance, you dont even know when all these things happened, they might have happened over the span of the last 3months or all when i was 17, but feel free to judge, we are all entitled to our own opinions.
And i dont always give the full picutre..For instance the sooo called ex that your are making noise about..i forgot to tell you that we only went out for a day....yes !! one day or should i say 2 nights!!! I call my ex for another reason known to me.
I also dont remember asking you for marriage...so feel free to walk away...lol!
I have made this clear, i dont like to play games. There are times we all play games but really it is not something i enjoy doing to be honest, the thruth is that it is just a waste of my time..
i dont order my flowers from interflora for the reason you just mentioned, they are always dead. Futhermore if anybody sold them selves short because someone sent them flowers then they might as well go and prostitue themselves on the street because they would make more money and please why are you winking at me? but i am going to wink back anyways..*wink**wink*
My point is that you only know these things because i have told you and if you were not there you wouldnt know. It is the same for any other guy, you only know what he tells you, because you are not there throughout his life....
and annoymous if you have a serious problem with things your reading, you dont have have to read the blog u know!
these people dont waste time! now now, it has reached 21 comments...hmmm...
nd ur right with your observations, most girls go for the "HA! i can do so much better than you!"..but what you say is actually more mature, cuz flaunting that you can be wiv someone richer/hotter..just pikinizm in action...
takin small small notes oh!
some people have too much time on their hands.
Being abrupt doesnt make you a bastard...someone will marry you and i do consider her to be lucky
Are u with someone now or two people..maybe even more....?
all these people saying rubbish about MY TIN-TIN...i will fight you..haba...if u dont like his gist dont read his blog again...
DID he as u to marry him or what is your stress....just kill him becos hes being honest na,
DEAR tin-tin,
how are you? don't mind all of them. they are in denial.
Have a lovely day
anonymous
i understand where anonymous is coming from...av been in the same flower situation which was one of the stunts you wrote about in your blog.
i take you up on your word..guys r bastards..getting a girl you av no feelings for to like you..is jus downright wrong.
and your question bout marriage or goin out wiv sumone after they've read ur blog is debatable..its not a matter of judgement..i dont kno u bt lets take a luk at this scenario...
i meet you..get to know you..develop feelings for you..n we end up being on a level..you tell me you want to take our relationship to the next level and then i find out u r Tin-tin??!! woaw...i wuld start checking all the stories you eva told me in our relationship..it can make a girl doubt wats fiction and wats reality..
okay..back to wat i came to comment bout..sorry anonymous' comment made me think...can i av ur number??lool..we need to av some long ass discussion so i can get some tips!! too many exes to make jealous!!
oh ma gosssssshHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WOSSUP WIV ALL THESE ANNONYs...ahahhahahahahashaahah...this is some controversial shiiiiiii...lolololololololololo...
ANYWAY.......
I WILL MOST DEF DATE YOU.....ONE THING FOR SURE..THERE WILL ALWAYS BE LOADS TO TALK ABOUT....ARGUEMENTS TO LOOK FOWARD TO....i am more than sure we will MENTALLYY be able to connect/...
HOWEVER....
MARRIAGE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS MEHNNNN..I CANT CONCLUDE FROM JUST YOUR BLOG....one thing i have come to realise ....some men are GREAT BOYFRIENDS..not necceaarilly HUSBANDS THO!!!!!!!1
P.S: KOKO LURRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE!!!!!!!!! KEEP THESE POSTS COMING MEHNNNN......am eager!!! xoxo
@ anon- who asked how many people i am with? if you truly have been reading my blog since day 1, then you'd realise that anything i talk aboutis past and i dont talk about on going things in my life and very personal things such as my own relationship or ship[s]..lol!!...so i am sorry, my answer can only be i am not available and i am happy right now!
@ The anon that came to my rescue...thank you...i need people like you in my life. O ma se rire!
@ The anon that agreed with the other annon - i apologise of behalf of the guy who pulled the stunt, it might be due to the fact that he reads my blog i dont know..but what i do know is that he might have been using it to reach out, i am pretty certain that he must have said he liked you before and you just thought he never meant it, so he tried something different.
As for making the girls like me part - i dont think there is a certain aura around me that when i touch something it turns gold on the contrary i have had a few (quite a small amount of rejections). I dont intentionally go around making girls like me, it only occured to me when i slowly realised that a number of my own friends that are girls have feelings for me, i guess i just sit on the phone a bit too much.
i cannot give the phone numbe but i can give the email which i have currently forgotten the password, but i will put it up 2moro[dont hold me to that]
@Ms.koko -Thank you o, where have you been? have you recovered from your loss?
email: tininuboy@googlemail.com..i will also put up the email thing on my profile.
BUHAHAHAAHHA...MY LOSS U KNU!!!!!!! *i let them loose like a kite....i let go of their strings...they insist on coming back to me* EVEN IN THAT ABJ HE IS GOING....NO ONE CAN TAKE MY PLACE.....fact of life ooo
p.s: pls dnt mention such bout lady koko on blog oo..ahn ahn..CANT BE DULLING MY SHINE ABEG!
P.P.S: UPDate jo..this is the last time am checking ur blog...............................today..lol
Tintin love, what did I do?
You fancy yourself a pro in the dating scene abi? All these your tactics arent bullet proof jo. Besides whats the p with making your ex jealous? What happened to just moving on?
It isnt by force to make your ex jealous but for those who want to, this is the better way to do them..
About the tips being bulletproof it depends, the person doing it...i guesss...some people are more confident than others and it is shows.
ok first of all who is this anonymous that is disturbing you ehn?..do u need me to call my people and take care of this problem??...
and awww u know i ruvvv u vewy mush..my blog lover...dont be jealous..our love is stronger than cement..lol
If the break up was good, then we'd be cool again after I avoid Him for a month.
If the break up was BAD...Then, we'd be cool again after I avoid Him for 12 months, but only if He's not on my case (gosh,...memories of a stalker come flashing back).
If I ever break uo again although i hope not to : )...I'll try your way and knowing His character, I know it'll rip my guys heart out. Ok,..maybe I wont but who knows...Our emotions make us do the most evil things.
Tin-tin boy is it just me or you are a blogville flirt? lol!
Lmao about having a civil convo with ur ex, is it just me or after just a month that must be very hard...
p.s. i'm sure you'd find loads of girls that would kill to marry you, unwritten* already seems to be in love with you.
ef babe
yes i agree u r such a blogsville flirt!!!!maybe some people wld agree to marry your character but wat exactly do u look like in person? lol
Oh boy, plz change this your pic its getting a tad bit irritating!
free my picture nowww!!!!
oya show me a picture i should use...lol!!!
okay, so what if the girl does the breaking up. Not 2 hurt d guy o, but it just wasn't working, n there was no point in wasting time.
Am just asking.
Whassup? My e-mail addy is kayshawn2008@gmail.com. Hope all is well.
omo na wetin i dey feel be this. na correct thing you yarn here. (ok, this pidgin english isnt working for me, it feels weird). But i absolutely love ur post jor, its great, interesting.
lol...i enjoyed this post..
hope ur ego has been 'restored'?
take care!
We are down to d final two on blogville idol!!pls head over to d page and listen to ABBie & Dammy battle it out!!!pls listen to them and vote..we also have some guest bloggers singing!!u wanna know who they are??why dont u run to d idol page now!!and pls dont forget to leave us a kind comment!!
Mr tin-tin please update! Im tired of seeing this post.
Hmm like others have said before me you are too much of a blogsville flirt! What happened to that babe you asked out on a date a few posts back??
Wow...Joblessness....for lack of a better word!
annon- you have come again o, first it was change picture, now it is update....as much as i love my readers ahn ahn ki lo de!
i go to work you know and i write my comments from my blackberry!!!
everytime i see a comment from you annon's my heart is always in my mouth...lol!!
fine i will update.....[it was not even up to a week]...
and to answer your question -
Minky the girl i asked on the date, she said NO!
lol! I know we anons give a hard time...
u claim to be happy n unavailable, why did u ask for a date???
tininu = player?
Annon - you have come again, oya do you want to go out with me...!!!
you do know that it is possible for me to have been single when i asked her for the date or maybe i was not - but as i explained to her when i said date., i was not talkign about cande light dinner, and she understood that even if i met her at a bar during a random nija party , that would count as the date...
and what made you think i was serious, since you know me to be such a flirt, why couldnt i just have been flirting, or maybe i had been going out with minky all along, you just wouldnt know..
i have a feeling your obviously adamant that you know me, so why dont you just either step into my inbox and have the convo there or i dotn know what the other option is, because most annons come and ask questions and go but you, you are here on some kind of personal vendetta against me, why dont you start your own blog or something....lol!!
you making my time at work intresting...
p.s. Arent you at work or something, because i fail to believe you are just at home sitting there and interogating me like a criminal of war..lol
Lol!!!!!!!!!
I just woke up! I told u i was jobless.. i am sure u will miss me coz i start work next week.. pls put another post jo!
No i cant go out with u!! I said so already! Not knowing u makes it more fun!!
omg r u goin out with minky?? lol!
yeh i know ur a flirt..
u better appreciate me and i am working on starting my blog!!
stop feeling special!! i have only commented 3 times!!lol
so you actually expect me to blog from my blackberry....are u okay??
dont go to work ooo, remain as you, abeg!!..lol!!
and no i am not going out with minky
oya what do you want me to blog about, because i cannot think of anything right now!!
Hmmm...You receive a lot of anonymous love apparently...
Personally, I don't know about this. If he broke up with me(esp if I cared/loved him) I doubt that a month would be enough to completely exclude him from my life, except I was very busy. If I broke up with him, who cares...I'll be myself...nothing extra...and no sweat.
You have time o! Should'nt you be "working"?
naija babe you have come tooo oo- i know i am...let us just say i am having coding block and one of the servers are down, that is my excuse which is never true but i cannot access my email. so i am not doing anywork...
aren you meant to be at work?
yeah yeah yeah
I am at work...doing work...well and checking mails too unlike some
i dont know be imaginative!! yes n why cnt u blog from ur blackberry!!!!lol
well i think im goin back to bed...
sorry i have to start workk next week but i will drop by to interrogate u when i have your time coz i swear u as jobless as me!
very interesting.....
so wat if the girl does the breaking up.....any tips???
(PS:how have you been)...
TinTin!! Why do u like controversy?!?!.. Date u hellz nah!! you will be using all these your tricks on a poor girl!!! But I do think you would be a great lover tho, coz u seem to know so much about relationships...just not for me. xoxo
what makes you guys think that I will use these soo called tips or skills on girls. Just because I know how to do it doesnt mean I will. Surely if I am using these soo called tips then it means your worth me remembering what to do and please these tips only came about from previous relationships I have been in and being observant.
Ms.O - I am disapponted but thankyou eitherway
Annon- I am still waiting for the topic I should post on
And lf the girl breaks up with the guy then there is no point of her proving she is doing good because she ended things and psycooogically she has the upper hand unless the fit was cheating.. That one is a post on it's on
sorry for spamming
but please vote for tayo everyday at:
http://vmagazine.com/vamodel_viewprofile.php?model=9547
so what tip will you give to the girl who has not found a man yet..so she has no one to tell her "its time baby"..:(
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