So i had sorta been putting off blogging till i got the perfect post to bring me back, but i woke up this morning in tears, well i never really slept. It's like every emotional fight, pain, suffering that ever occured from a relationship. Juts came back to me at once and i was/ am overwhelmed.. Looking back over the last 4 years i have done nonesense and i mean with other peoples feelings.. I would apologise but i doubt my apologies will suffice now.
Why do men cheat?. There are the normal answers of lust, greed, temptation.( all 3 are the same thing to be honest) but it's not the lust or greed. You should look at, but the underlying factors, because something tells me that not a men are the same. The reason for me postponing this post for soo long was that i felt that until you can talk from experience you can only imagine what drives a man to cheat.. No i didnt go out and cheat, neither did it come to me and cheat. I just paid more attention and spoke with some people.
Firstly what happens when men cheat??. They get trapped and priorities change. This depends if the cheatee( politically correct term- other woman) knows that the man has a _______(wife/ girlfriend/ fiance). She firstly evaluates how much you love your other half, she tells by:- if you answer the phone calls in front of her, what you say, your body language. One of 2 things can or will happen. Firstly the man( cheater) ends it with his other woman as wifey has become more suspect of his recent activites and the other woman threatens to go to wifey so he sorta confesses first. Secondly the other woman does nothing. In the first scenario the relationship seems over as he has now confessed, every normal woman will kick him out, make him sleep on the sofa. Guess who is now there for him, when u have turned your back on him, yep..the other woman. In the second scenario she lets him live his life as he wants no restraints that come from wifey. In both scenarios the guys become extremely comfortable and slowly wifey is treated as or in essence emotionally becomes the other woman. Because where ever a man is happy is where his priorities are.
The only 2 instance when these 2 situation above might not occur, is if the other woman tries to force the man to leave his wife/ girlfriend. Now what a man doesnt want is to girlfriends[1]. He doesnt want to jump from one sinking boat to the other, he wants a speed boat. This is the only situation when the man will put things into perspective and make the decision to go back home on his own, although it will not be easy but he will make the right choice.
NB. For the other woman reading this, just do your thing, dont put too much pressure. If he is going to stay, you have to be more of his friend and be there for him, because the way he perceives you will affect his judgement when making that make it or break it choice and dont worry he will be the one to ask you when he wants to be a bit serious. But if you want to test his loyalty, have something with someone else and you can judge how much he likes you from the amount of venom and anger he throws towards you...
From me to you,
Tininu..xxx
Thank you for those who were checking up on me through my illness and hard times...
p.s. this is not the end of why men cheat, i am sorta working back to front on this one..will be a thing that comes every forthnight but i will still continue to blog regularly in between..
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15 comments:
LIE LIE LIE!!!!
Or maybe you just dont know what you are talking about.
The 'other woman' is the fool, being used and taken for granted...If he wants her, she wont be the other woman...End of story
*Note the venom*
Why men cheat...? Is there really a reason for cheating... Okay, let me read what you have to say and I will get back to you... Welcome back ...
Oh Helllll nooooo!!!
You did not just give a reason for cheating and you did not just give the other woman a reason for hanging around... Seriously... You need to understand that there are alot of emotions involved in a serious relationship... and when you really care about someone (Note I did not say love) cheating is just not an option.... If (wife/ girlfriend/ fiance)is not keeping you happy and you still care about her, work hard at it... Relationships are understandably really hard and if you jump ship every time someone else makes you happier, you will end up a very sad lonely person.
So I do not agree with you... There is really no real reason for cheating... It is selfish and wicked and completely aimed at hurting the person who has dedicated their life to loving you...
I have been at both ends and it only ends in a really empty feeling... There is no win with cheating because ultimately, the other woman will soon have another woman to contend with and the man will have no peace... Just a life filled with drama...
p.s: Hard times and illness? Hope you feel better...
This post is so wrong on so many levels. On the other hand, i just admire how men..meaning you, forget to mention the emotions been played.
get well soon
I'll say this is highly biased and other commenters share my concern. Now can't wait for the continuation of this... would love to know what goes on in the mind of someone who cheats.
im not talking to you right now...
r u for real? like anonymous said, the other woman is a fool, if her really wanted her he will leave the wifey for her.... and karma is a biatch, cos he will do the same thing to her if he leaves the wifey. If it was so easy to leave the one he loved like that,will drop her like a sack of potatoes when the chance arises!
.... ummm, welcome back got a little side tracked there!
I was going to comment, but all thoughts fled from my head when I saw that first comment. na wa oh!
oooh, just glanced Hypnotique's comment as well. Kai, yawa don gas, let me sit back and watch, hehehehe
Men tin-tin, hynotique and timmy gave it to you sha!lol
Hope your feeling better?
You've been missed.
Take care
xxx
LOL...there really isnt any excuse for cheatin but as humans, we always come up with excuses for everythin..
Sorry u were ill n all..take care!
so now ur bak eh??
to be honest...understanding why men cheat does not make any different to how u look at it when they do cheat..or maybe thats just me- im just saying!
you figure it out...:)
Hey Tininu...Kpele o...Dint know u were ill. Hope u're fully recovered by now.
Maybe u should've titled ur post. "Why Good Men Cheat" and u wont be gettin grief from all d ladies...lol.
During rocky times in a relationship, the other woman is really just d rebound babe. I've seen it happen too many times. In her mind, she's superwoman, there to rescue him in his time of need when he's really just looking for comfort from her bcos d person he normally goes to 4comfort is d person he is havn issues with. This type of affaris don't normally last, so it ends up being a lose-lose situation for the guy,...unless ex-wifey is dumb enuff to take him back but in most cases he goes running back with his tail between his legs.
Yes, the woman tries work it out because they are strong beings and can handle it all, but men would rather walk away and have someone else comfort them because they are weak and miss being craddled...lol. It's just in their nature to be nurtured.
Forgive them in advance ladies...It's in their DNA.
WOW MISS PEARSE......FUNNY CUS ALL U'VE JUST SED SEEMS LIKE THE OBVIOUS..BUT I HAVE NOT REALLY THOT ABOUT IT THAT WAY......good way of lookng at it tho....
p.s:xoxo
i guess that the title of the post did not really tally with the message i was trying to get across i should have called it, what happens when men cheat or something along those lines......
i am not here to justify cheating, with an angry mob like you lot, there is no where even if i finally did and were right, that you would accept my sayings.. obviously from this post i can see the few that have emmm, should i say burnt in the past... timmy( i felt your fire), annonymous( i heard u loud and clear), hypnotique( you put fear in my heart oo) because everytime i see a woman burnt the things those emotions can push her to do can be unspeakable...
miss pearse you right oo, i actually saw this cheating is in a man's dna in a newspaper article, it was int the times but i think 2004, been quite hard to get my hand on it, infact i saw it in church as the preacher( female) used it for a sermon...
One thing i have learnt, is that you women need to master not learn but master the art of forgiveness from the bottom of your heart..
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