This post was written by special request..i know i am like a day or two behind schedule{forgive me}, so for you i will try and break this down into 2/3 post or just make 2 or 3 more posts, if that makes sense.....Firstly to those of you that asked minky for the date...thank you very much!!!!, it was very much appreciated but she is stubborn but very funny, even though i am still where i was before you guys begged..actually i think i have taken 2 steps backwards if anything..lol
There were 2 reasons why i started blogging...one because there is wayyy too much male bashing on these blogs, and where ever there is male bashing, i'll be there to stand up for my guys.
Secondly, a lot of girls fall for things soo easily, some of the things are soo ridiculous, that i am ashamed and have come soo close to calling girls "stupid", but i dear not because without girls then boys are nothing...lets face facts
So your single?, what is holding you back? Ur single because guys are bastards, they are all cheating lying bastards... but once in a while you meet this guy... he has broken all your walls, i played hard to get and i made him wait, now i know him soo well, me and him connect on a level,he must be the one...i love him....have you ever been in that situation.......then your stupid!!! yes i said it.... You see the one thing i love about girls, is that they think they are such a good judge of character. They think they can get to know a guy so well, inside and out...because you know his guys, you know his family, you guys grow up together you are safe....hissssss!!!
You were so sure you can tell the difference between players and normal guys...
The "players" are the one's that just jump from girl to girl and the "nice guy" doesnt- he treats you like a queen, he is always on the phone to you and he's there when i need him...did it ever occur to you that the "player" does exactly the same thing the "nice guy" does, probably even better! as he has had more practise..and you know what they say practise makes perfect...lol!!!
So the question is how do you differentiate and make sure your with the right guy.......{these are my own opinions backed with facts, they are not set in stone}....the truth is that you cannot, you can only go with your gut feeling and see what happens but before you do that, here are a few pointers
1) You cannot know your guy -Laides you cannot know your guy, this fact is true.... till about 25 years of marriage....I repeat you cannot know your guy inside out, what you get to know is a personality that he projects, knowingly or unkowningly... Think about it, you only know your boyfriend from things he tells you....if he says i love ice cream, your going to believe he loves ice cream { that is a very basic example but you get my drift}..if he sleeps a lot, you might think it is because he is lazy, no it might just be he is tired of looking at your face but he will lie that he is tired from work or something.
NB: whenever your guy is angry, he always acts differently - that might be how he truly feels, but because when he was younger.. momsi always told him this and told him that so he bottles it up inside.
In relationships there are certain things you think you pick up as an inquisitive girlfriend, because you are soo clever and you notice these things...did you ever think that he might know this and you it as an advantage against you....So once you think you know a guy and you can tell him inside out, this is where you make your first and most serious error, because these soo called players..i like to refer to them as guys "that actually think and observe ", know this and will use it to their full advantage....Nija girls are soo predictable, it makes the job a lot easier
2)Predictability - Girls please stop being predicatable...After a certain amount of experience in dating, it only takes about the first 5-10 mins into the first date, to find out:-
What kind of girl your dealing with.
If she has the potential to be wifey material
and how predicatble she is.
A lot of girls think that making a guy wait or getting the message across that your long will put guys off..... It does, but it only gets rid of the usless ones, (which to be honest you dont really want to be having stuff with anyways). But what that tells the serial dater is that, you have had a bad experience, you were really hurt. cannot put your trust in guys. when you let a guy in, you become dedicated to him and relationships are a big deal..All he has to do is change his personality from normal bastard to nice caring guy, who is sweet and has ambitions ( which a few seconds of lying can sort out). The guy will then proceed and he will become your breakfast lunch and dinner..He will be there at every point, he will call you in the morning , text you at lunch and does what ever he can to make sure your always thinking about him...it is easy
For the one's that play soo hard to get - your the most intresting because your are soo determined that you cannot be got, that you basically just activate the guy....he tries to get you to prove a point to himself, his friends, you and anybody else who knows how hard to get you play...you are the ones that pik up on every little thing and check the phones and act like you dont care and independent...again all your really saying is, this is a front once you break through this , i am going to dedicate myself to you..e.t.c.
These are the messages you really send out, not what you think you are sending...not a lot of guys pick up on it.
Now the question is how do you protect yourselves from these guys? your guess is as good as mine... i am joking ,
The truth is the less information they have.. the less they can categorise you,
The less they can categorise you the..... less predictable you become,
The more of a problem they have.....
There will be a part 2 nd possibly 3...part 2 will def be next week...i am only breaking this down because i want to stop making my post soo long..
From me to you...sorry i made you wait!!
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19 comments:
Yayyyy.....
Whats the point of "fronting" if the feeling is mutual? Dumb but its a question.
So when you say predictable, you mean?
I'd say girls need to spice up their game too...I think the guys are tired of the same old routine. Probably a switch in roles will make guys understand girls better and vice versa or make the other see how hard it is to hold up a 'front'...
I think I'm chatting s£$%, my brain has frozen....
note:*ITS 4.30 AM*..i am tired and puzzled and intrigued and.....of course..BREATHLESS!
now reading this ..i realise..it will be another sleepless night...
i guess people front for different reasons...... and ur right, we can sometimes be too predictable
ok...tin-tin is back!! next week starts from sunday rite so part 2 will b 2moro...yayyyyyyyyy
"you can only go with your gut feeling" EXACTLY!!!! SO ITS ALL ABOUT TAKING A RISK. PLAYING HARD TO GET DEVREASES THE LIST OF WASTE MEN ON YOUR CASE AND LEAVES YOU WITH THOSE THAT ARE WORTHY OF TAKING THE RISK WITH. I SAY 'WORTHY' BEACUSE THEY HAVE TAKEN THE TIME AND ENERGY TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT....WHY?? BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTH IT. FAIR ENOUGH THEY MIGHT BE MOTIVATED BY THE THRILL OF THE CHASE BUT HEY MS.COCOA LOVES MEN THAT SEE WHAT THE WANT AND STOP AT NOTHING TO GET IT....the chase reveals to me they have at least one desired characterisitc that i love! IF EVENTUALLY YOU TAKE YOU TAKE A RISK WITH THAT MAN AND HE TURNS OUT TO HAVE WANTED YOU FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS...you move the fuck on!!!!!!
your worth should not be enclosed in his plams...ms.cocoa will never stick around just for the spree of kisses and warm feel of a pair of hands...IT MIGHT GET LONELY BUT you will survive!!!!!!!!!
"...there are certain things you pick up on as an inquisitive girlfriend....did you ever think that he might know this and use itas an advantage against you?"
OF COURSE WE DO!!!! WELL...MS.COCOA CERTAINLY DOES!!!! AND DID YOU EVER THINK THAT JUST MAYBE WE act LIKE WE'VE PICKED UP ON WHAT YOU CHOSE TO PROJECT in concious thought AND WE GIVE YOU THE REACTION we know YOU WERE HOPING FOR...but we are aware!!!!!!!! HECK I MIGHT PLAY DUMB, INNOCENT AND NAAIVE BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THERE ARE SO MANY SMART WOMEN OUT THERE...MUST TIMES WE JUST CANT BE BOTHERED TO PLAY YOUR GAMES SO WE SETTLE FOR PEACE and give you what you want.HA! we divert your attention so that you dont see what is really about to hit you!BEWARE!!!!! hehe
I MUST SAY I agree ABOUT PREDICTABILITY..I HAVE HEARD THE PHRASE "typical naija girl" WAYYYYY TOO MANY TIMES! IT IS TIME TO SWITCH THINGS UO LADIES..they are begining to get bored!AND I DONT MEAN SWITCH IT UP BY BEING A DRAMA QUEEN...that is very predictable!
"in the first 5-10 mins into the first date...you can find out what kind of girl you are dealing with"
GOODNESS I WONDER WHAT KIND OF GIRL THEY THINK MS.COCOA IS!?@£$
"all your saying is this is a front..once you break the through the wall...i am going to dedicate myself to you"
BREAKING THAT WALL IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU MIGHT THINK! I PERSONALLY BELIEVE IN LAYING IT BARE FOR YOUR man BUT OF COURSE STILL MAINTAING YOUR WORTH AND own LIFE. HE SHOULDNT BE YOUR BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER...goodness like the man breath!!!!!!!
HOWVER I RESPECT MY MEN AND TREAT THEM LIKE GOLD..BECAUSE BEFORE I GIVE SOMEONE THE TITLE OF boyfriend HE MUST INDEED BE A GREAT MAN....player or not. BESIDES THIS WAY I KNOW I WILL NEVR LET MY COCOA COBANA WALK OUT OF MY LIFE DUE TO MY OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! i will rather nurse my hurt for a month or 3..knowing that i gave my heart to the relationship. YOU TRIED YOUR BEST IT JUST DIDNT WORK OUT..thats life!!!! ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE IS EVEN AS HIS EX. HE WILL ALREADY RESPECT ME AND LOOK BACK AND RECOGNISE I WAS all woman!hehe
"the less info they have...the less they can categorise you..the less predictable you become...the more problems for them"
NOW THIS THEORY I APPLAUDE...IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN PUT WITH ANY MORE PRECISION.
p.s: i can breath again...but it was worth going blue for *wink*
OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL TO DA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S: U SERIOUSLY OWE ME 3!!!!!!!!
P.P.S: I WILL LET U KNU UR PUNISHENT TONGHT
P.P.PS: ME A MAN PRETENDING TO BE A BABE ABI???????? IF EVER I HAVE FELT MORE INSULTED..i dont remember!!!!!!
Did u ever think that maybe SOMETIMES girls r not playing hard to get but just not into the dude...
I hate it wen guys i detest think i am playing hard to get....I find it very arrogant of guys to think every girl they open their sweet mouth to shud be into them....
We r just not into u guys sometimes...THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
Its so funny reading some of the 'girls' comments.. y'all think you're smart abi? i laugh in spanish..
I have a friend that doggedly paced a girl for 2 years just cos she was proving hard to get and she FELL finally, HARD!!!! left boyfriend and all just cos my paddy was more of a 'man'.. wicked but we all laughed in the end..
ms.cocoa brown...no comment at all..
Reiterating what tin tin discussed.. players come in different forms, obviously there are the 'yeye' boys, the ones that think they have flows and lyrics and moves..and i detest the girls that fall for them..
and we have the very smooth ones, the patient ones, the ones you get very comfortable with, the ones you can vouch for, the ones that are there for you when you need them, and the ones that make you feel you're the one playing them as well..
to cut the long story short, never say never, cos all that is needed is a moment of weakness..(which y'all will always have!) and the deal is closed! another one bites the dust..
like its being mentioned..'predictabilty' is the killer with naija girls..be spontaneous, random and radical..
Dont let tin tin's blog put you off from loving o...enjoy life, there are real men out there..and all you girl players, STOP IT! [you know yourself ;-)]
enigma- i salute you, you know what i am trying to convey...
player girls...please stop it oo because you just create more guys like me
hahahaahha...I LAUGH!!!!!!!!! I TOO LAUGH IN SPANISH MR ENIGMA.....pls dont reserve your comment ooo.....now i see what u meant by "nasty comments"/.....MS.COCOA CAN HANDLE IT..BRING IT ON...DO BRING IT ON...IF YOU FIND ANYTHING I SAY TO BE not quite right(to put it mildly) DO OBJECT..directly!
p.s: xoxo(just to show you there is still lurrrve lol)
I totally agree with ONB, you might not just be into the guy.
to each his own sha
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
how are you
i hope you enjoy every minute of your beautiful life.
you are fantastic!!!
a kiss for you, my dear friend!
god bless u dear
can we exchange our link
r u ready to do?
bye
take care
god bless you dear
lol! its true what you have written but its funny cos you have not actually hit the nail on the head- Sadly, you have failed to categorise me...lol!! Good luck in trying... Im the friendly Janded babe who will always try to outwit you! Relationships are for the week...there is nothing to break- i tend to be very open but I know that guys dont really get serious until they hit 25 and are in the church (im sure there are some unserious ones in church) but they tend to be more focussed...
Good stuff
Tininu dear your points are quite on point..lol.A few points may be debatable though.Bring on part 2.
tininu...i totally feel you on this one some as some ppl have said, the girl just may not be into the guy and it called "playing hard to get" like you said....
However, i get irritated if the feeling if mutual and homegirl behave as if he needs to lick you toes for like a year before you become a couple....you like him, he likes you...BIG DEAL!!!!
......thats my take..
hw have u been?
I feel you on every sentence ma brov....every single sentence...
hmm .. am a girl but i kinda agree with all u said.. all the playing hard to get and thinking we know em.. also teh predictability... thats so true... am not gonna show myself sha..hehe.. so how do we indeed break out of these sterotypes?? waiting for prt 2 and 3..
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